Tue 1/30/2007

Motivational posters are everywhere inside businesses nowadays. But one company decided to ask the question, "Is the glass really half full?" If you've never seen Despair.com's Demotivators, then you are missing out.

AT DESPAIR, INC., we believe motivational products create unrealistic expectations, raising hopes only to dash them. That's why we created our soul-crushingly depressing Demotivators designs, so you can skip the delusions that motivational products induce and head straight for the disappointments that follow!

• Procrastination: Hard work often pays off after time, but laziness always pays off now.
• Regret: It hurts to admit when you make mistakes - but when they're big enough, the pain only lasts a seconds.
• Problems: No matter how great and destructive your problems may seem now, remember, you've probably only seen the tip of them.
• Mistakes: It could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others.
• Flattery: If you want to get to the top, prepare to kiss a lot of the bottom.
• Fear: Until you have the courage to lose sight of the shore, you will not know the terror of being forever lost at sea.
• Effort: Hard work never killed anybody, but it is illegal in some places (picture of Paris).
• Agony: Not all pain is gain.
• Mediocrity: It takes a lot less time and most people won't notice the difference until it's too late (picture of Leaning Tower of Pisa) -- I have this one sitting on my desk. I feel that it is especially inspirational for my engineering job.

Mon 1/29/2007

For The Win (FTW)

1. That which completes a process in a successful manner
2. Commonly used among geeks to express their enthusiasm for something, especially in online chat
3. More often than not, this phrase is shortened to "FTW"
4. Also, "FTW" is mostly used to indicate a contribution or action taken that one is proud of, even facetiously.

Examples of use:
Sports: "He lines up the shot... and he makes it -- FOR THE WIN!"
At work: "Overtime Pay FOR THE WIN."
Since I am sick, I text'd my doctor (Ramsey) yesterday, having received my meds: "Amoxicillin FTW".

Fri 1/26/2007

Last night we partied down again over 111, this time to celebrate the b-day of our very own Dr. Stone,r. Stone requested a "gluttonous feasting ritual" to satisfy his "proclivity to gormandize", so we delievered in full force. After the feasting, we hung out and talked, and Ben showed us his booty-jam moves.

See more pictures

Thu 1/25/2007

Quote of the Day

I call this the Manager's Creed:

The things which are done are not those things which are expected, but inspected. -- Howard Hendricks (Dallas Theological Seminary, paraphrased)

Euphemism of the Day

Horse Hockey
Noun: (slang, euphemism) False or deceitful statements; lies; exaggerations; nonsense.
Interjection: An expression of disbelief or disgust.
Sample usage: "Horse hockey." (context: mid-application of Manager's creed)

Wed 1/24/2007

Well it's been over 4 months now. Honestly I've been trying to hold off as long as I could. The last time, well.. I didn't have much restraint. And, as a result, we burned through things pretty quick... They start off well enough. You have good intentions. But you start really getting into it, and it's impossible to control the pace! Before you know it, you've gone from a dinner here or there to entire nights, several times a week! Attachment? More like addiction!! It's definitely not healthy, but ohh what a rush!! I know I'm not the only one who struggles with this. My friends who have more experience than me (both guys and girls) say it gets even harder to control. At the same time... I just enjoy seeing her so much. She's really one of the most beautiful girls I think I've ever set eyes on. Yea, yea looks aren't everything. Of course, it's not really her looks that I'm interested in. In fact, she's only a side plot -- it's her dad that I like to watch! That's right, I've started watching the second season of 24 -- and the first episode started off with a real bang (some of you know what I mean!). I'm gunna need a hacksaw!

Mon 1/15/2007

As I walked up to my vehicle outside 24-hour fitness, I felt a soft, smooshy sensation as I attempted to finger in my truck's keyless entry code. Somehow I'd known that the convenience of locking my keys in my truck might catch up to me someday, a fact that brought little comfort as the 17mph wind whipped against me. The rubber keys were stuck in the depressed position, and the code did not seem to be working. Luckily, after a few minutes of mashing the keys as hard as I could, I managed to pop the lock. Lesson learned? Don't rely on keyless entry in sub-freezing temperatures.

Sun 1/14/2007

Friday night I eagerly received my new toy! It's a Canon Speedlite 430EX, which should make possible higher quality indoor pictures. I even got to try it out last night as we had a low-key celebration of Keith's 30th birthday. I have a lot to learn about how to use it, but I'm happy with the results I'm already getting. We had tons of laughs which made for lots of great picture opportunties. They were a very gracious crowd to shoot.

Fri 1/12/2007

On Thursday I went to lunch with my friend Luke. Luke says, "Let's go to Qdoba." I said, "No, let's go to Chipotle because it's healthier. If I go to Qdoba, I'm going to get it with the caso poured all over it, and that's bad." Luke agreed to health.

But today, I found out about the Chipotle calorie calculator. Go ahead and put in all the healthy choices: tortilla, rice, black beans, veggies, cheese and chicken. The balance? 1129. The rice alone has 7g of fat. After hearing that, I was so depressed that I had to eat pizza today (with Ranch of course).

Thu 1/11/2007

Programming then is fun because it gratifies creative longings built deep within us and delights sensibilities we have in common with all men. -- Frederick P. Brooks (The Mythical Man-Month)

Wed 1/10/2007

(13:22:15) Murat: feel free to make some super strong coffee :)
(13:22:28) John: ha ha
(13:22:30) John: ok i will in a minute
(13:23:23) Murat: sweet
...
(13:34:30) John: coffee should be ready
(13:37:03) Murat: sweet.
...
(13:37:20) John: bad news
(13:37:24) John: someone already hit it, so i finished it
(13:37:28) Murat: [$#*%]

Mon 1/08/2007

Just make sure you read the last one.

• If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.
• If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken but Jack Bauer says its beef...then it's freakin beef.
• Jack Bauer could strangle you with a cordless phone.
• It's no use crying over spilt milk ... unless that was Jack Bauer's milk. Then oh man, you are so screwed.
• Don't beg Jack Bauer to shoot you. He will simply shoot your wife.
• Nobody tells Jack Bauer what to do. There is a right way, a wrong way, and the Jack Bauer way. It's basically the right way but a lost faster and with more deaths.
• When someone asks him how his day is going, Jack replies, "Previously, on 24 ..."
• Superman's only weakness is Kryptonite. Jack Bauer laughs at Superman for having a weakness.
• In 96 hours, Jack Bauer has killed 93 people and saved the world 4 times. What the [heck] have you done with your life?
• Jack Bauer doesn't speak any foreign languages, but he can make any foreigner speak English in a matter of minutes.
• In high school Jack Bauer was voted "Most Likely to Kill the Foreign Kid"
• Jesus died and rose from the dead in 3 days. It took Jack Bauer less than an hour. And he's done it twice.
• There are no such things as lesbians, just women who haven't met Jack Bauer.
• During the commercials, Jack Bauer calls the CSI detectives and solves their crimes.
• When Jack Bauer goes to the airport and the metal detector doesn't go off, security gives him a gun.
• People with amnesia still remember Jack Bauer.
• When Jack Bauer was a child, he made his mother finish his vegetables.
• If Jack Bauer shot you while quail hunting it wouldn't be an accident.
• In kindergarten, Jack Bauer killed a terrorist for Show and Tell.
• Jack Bauer removed the "escape" button from his keyboard; Jack Bauer never needs to escape.
• Jehovah's Witnesses once tried to convert Jack Bauer. After four minutes of interrogation, they admitted Jack Bauer was God.
• The only difference between Jack Bauer and the electric chair is that Jack Bauer makes you talk first.
• Finding Nemo would have been vastly more exciting had Jack Bauer been looking for him.
• If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your life.
• Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man.
• Jack Bauer's favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent.
• Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.
• Jack Bauer got Helen Keller to talk.
• Jack Bauer killed 93 people in just 4 days time. Wait, that is a real fact.
• Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer.
• 1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.
• Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.
• Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.
• Let's get one thing straight, the only reason you are conscious right now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you.
• When you open a can of whoop ass, Jack Bauer jumps out.
• If Jack says "I just want to talk to him" and that him is you… well amigo, you're screwed.
• Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.
• When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer hates lemonade.
• No man has ever used the phrase, "Jack Bauer is a sissy" in a sentence and lived to tell.
• In kindergarten, Jack Bauer killed a terrorist for Show and Tell.
• Jack Bauer literally died for his country, and lived to tell about it.
• As a child, Jack Bauer's first words were "There's no time!"
• Jack Bauer's family threw him a surprise birthday party when he was a child. Once.
• Guns don't kill people, Jack Bauer kills people.
• Everytime Jack Bauer yells "NOW!" at the end of a sentence, a terrorist dies.
• Jack Bauer does not sleep. The only rest he needs is what he gets when he's knocked out or temporarily killed.
• If you send someone to kill Jack Bauer, the only thing you accomplish is supplying him a fresh set of weapons to kill you with.
• Jack Bauer could get off the Lost island in 24 hours.

Fri 1/5/2007

I'm not settled on a position, but this news looked interesting: Scientists' Report Documents ExxonMobil's Tobacco-like Disinformation Campaign on Global Warming Science

Sat 12/09/2006

For those of you who don't know much about computer programming or software, this may be enlightening. For those of you who do, this is pretty funny. Hollywood loves to abuse the notion of computer code in movies. Here's the Top 10 things that code doesn't do in real life (that it does in the movies).

Funny Cat Pictures

If you like cats or kittens, you will enjoy these pictures.

Fri 12/01/2006

Tonight I watched An Inconvenient Truth, Al Gore's documentary on the global warming climate crisis. Being one who has absolutely no background or education on global warming or the surrounding controversy, I was glad to get an introduction from at least one side of the matter.

Gore spends a good part of the movie demonstrating evidences that drastic global warming is occurring:

• Significantly increase over previous patterns of temperatures and CO2 levels (which correlate), which have existed for a supposed 650k years
• Melting of glaciers
• Storm severity
• Raining and droughts
• Changing seasons and animal activity

Based on my limited understanding, the question is not about whether global warming is occurring, but rather whether we are causing it or not. My biggest critique of the movie is that very little time is spent explaining how we know that the CO2 is causing the warming (not just that it correlates), and *none* of the counter-arguments were discussed at all. Therefore, one of my first tasks will be to study what critics say of this, and if there is any scientific critique of this position (Gore would have you believe there is none).

But the movie does leave me with several significant questions about the US and our policymakers:

• Why is the US so far behind other countries in our environmental standards? That other countries are adopting these measures leads me to believe there is something to it. Specifically, what is the reason given for our not being part of the Kyoto Accords?
• Even if the cause is debated, if the effects of global warming are agreed upon, such as the potential for a rising sea level, why is it not being spoken of at all? As they point out in the movie, countless warnings were given to New Orleans regarding its inability to weather a storm like Katrina, but little preparations seem to have been made.

Overall, the movie was interesting because of the content, and well put together. Ratings on IMDB are very high. The movie also serves as a sort of biography of Al Gore. Though you might not be a member of his fan club, it is encouraging to see how he has battled on this front throughout his life for what he believes in. Although, at one point, the movie attempts to elicit sympathy for him after the "miscount" and his defeat by Bush. Sorry Gore, don't be a sore loser. :) He may not have invented the internet, but perhaps he will be remembered as one of the foremost proponents of this topic. History will tell.

More study:

• Wikipedia:Global warming
• Wikipedia:Scientific opinion on climate change

• Wikipedia:Kyoto Protocol

As always, there is more than one side to a story. Evidence for all claims in the movie (that I remembered) were found on Wikipedia; however, more doubt is cast upon the consensus of belief. Gore says this is exactly what opponents want to do -- cast doubt. I think I would like to do further investigations of my own, perhaps speaking with some in the scientific community directly. America's great dependence upon fossil fuels is certainly troubling from many perspectives, and also causes me to question our motives in this area.

In any case, I certainly want to do my part to become more knowledgeable on this issue, and reduce my own negative impact on the environment. I already pay for green energy and recycle, but my vehicle isn't exactly a hybrid. =) Well, you could probably put a hybrid in the back of my truck... is that efficient?